March/April 2026 Reflection
I have been happy.
For some reason, over the past few months, I’ve been feeling directionless but happy if that makes sense. I’ve been working on so many things outside of Substack, and I’ll be vlogging soon…
(Pictured by Marlo at a Wedding I went to last weekend)
YouTube has finally started giving me a little back from what I’ve been putting into it, and I’ve definitely been neglecting y’all over here. But I’m back, and I’m committed to being consistent on this platform again, sharing my thoughts and opinions.
I have a lot of thoughts about the war and the future I hope to see, and I need to put them out here. Sorry, y’all I miss you over here and love y’all down.
Let me give some updates to explain how I’ve been feeling.
I’ve been looking for a new job for a long time. My current job isn’t particularly bad or hard—it’s just completely on the opposite end of what I want to be doing professionally. THIS (motions at laptop screen) is what I want to do. So I’ve been trying to pivot career-wise for a while now. I even got a mentor, and things were really moving at the beginning of the year… and then everything just kind of halted.
I’ve been mourning that. I was happily divorcing myself from my current job, already spending salaries in my head that I hadn’t even earned yet—and then everything stopped. So now I need to do it myself. Which I can do, and should do, and will do. But I was really hoping things would work out the way I planned. But alas…
March was a month of discipline and hope that these jobs would come through. April was me coming to terms with the fact that they wouldn’t—and all my discipline went out the window. May is about getting back to the March version of me, and hopefully June is when I start thriving.
On the flip side, I’m finally starting to gain real traction on YouTube. I am SO proud. All of my previous YouTube success came from TikTok—I used it as a funnel to bring people to my longer videos. It was hit or miss. When it hit, it hit hard. But when it didn’t…
This is the first year I’ve been able to build interest on YouTube itself. I’m learning and growing with every upload, but I’ve already had 3 out of 4 videos this year pass 40K views. One is nearing 60K, and another has over 120K. I’m so proud and genuinely happy that people are finding me and connecting with my content.
As corny as it sounds… when life shuts a door, it opens a window. You know? I keep feeling nudged that I’m on the path I’m supposed to be on, doing exactly what I need to be doing right now.
Through comments and DMs, I keep getting encouraged to continue creating and putting things out. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll keep working my current job for as long as I need to. Maybe I’ll get the job I want… or maybe I’ll create the job I need.
Love,
The Swan