The months of April and May have both been extremely emotionally taxing months for me and I didn’t even realize it. Sometimes the depression can be so insidious that you think you're doing great, but you have no motivation to do anything or it seems like no matter how much you try to sleep you end up still tired the next day. These two months back to back felt like this for me. I am just now getting out of the fog and starting to feel like more of myself again. So let's reflect on the months of April/May for a moment... shall we?
Life:
Life has been passing me by, the weeks are getting faster and for some reason, these past few months my overwhelmingly positive attitude has been really hard to maintain. Nothing super crazy happened, just my internal monologue bringing me down. April was alright, but May required so much of me socially that I burnt myself out completely. Every weekend I had an obligation and for an introvert like me, I crave my solitude. I did not plan these events to allow myself time to heal and instead, I burnt myself out completely. I do this way too much, but I'm trying to be kind to myself as I begin the process of relighting my fire! Hopefully by the end of June, I'll be in higher spirits.
Health:
Health is good so far. I finally got on my ish and scheduled all my needed appointments. Being a woman and needing to check your health in a real way becomes a couple-month thing because our appointment availability is always so far in the future. I did get my eyes checked, got a new prescription... so I will be getting into my new glasses era very soon. It's kinda weird, but as an everyday glasses person, each pair of glasses you've ever owned was a different era of your life. These glasses that I currently wear have been my era for 6 years, arguably the most volatile and chaotic 6 years of my life. It is time for a change and an elevation. NEW GLASSES NEW BITCH!
Food:
I have been addicted to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for these past two months. They have always been an incredible candy to me, but my craving for them has gotten out of control. It was fun while it lasted, but it is time to buckle into the last 6 months of the year. Get my act together and get rolling with the goals I have set for myself physically. It was fun while it lasted lol.
Music:
KENDRICK LAMAR EVERYTHING… Has been my music vibe. After witnessing the most iconic rap battle in hip-hop, one that I have been waiting for since I was in high school… I have rediscovered my love of Kendrick. I always loved him of course, but the way he handled Drake just validated why I never faltered in my position even without hearing any of his diss tracks. I am just happy the world knows. Honestly, I blame him for my depression, the insane dopamine and serotonin hit from watching that battle go down completely robbed me of enjoying anything for the past two months lol.
Podcast:
The Just Trish Podcast has been getting me through these insane times. Between the news and the insanity that each week brings, I know I need to listen to something soft and simple. I am so proud of where Trisha is emotionally and love how dedicated she is to the podcast. She is incredible and if you need something to relax you and help you take your mind off things, I would highly recommend it.
Movie:
Two Can Play That Game is an incredible romcom with Morris Chestnut and Vivica Fox. Not only is it a movie full of blackness which I LOVE, but it is also from the golden age of black romcoms from the late 90s and early 2000s. It's witty, edgy, and sexy and I would give anything for my erotic novel to be adapted into a movie just like this one!